Choosing Happiness

A woman who played a crucial role in my not-so-distant past once told me about an interesting ending to a conversation she once had.  The person with whom she was speaking to, ended their discussion with the words we hear at least three times a day: "Have a nice day."

To which my mentor responded, "It's a choice, isn't it?"

Each morning, we wake up with the option of having a good or bad day and though we may not realize it at the time, it's a personal decision made at that very moment.  I'm not intending to say people should wake up with the sun shining out of their ass, because who really is a morning person anyways?  It's more of...a general outlook.  You can wake up and feel sorry for yourself.  You can count all of your problems on your fingers and toes.  You can bump elbows with a person and choose indecency and forget about any sort of apology.  You can whine and complain and participate in petty gossip.  These are all factors that aid in making up your mind as to the kind of day it will be.

When I start the day with the choice of it being a bad one, if I have the strength to turn it around, I will ask myself questions.

How can my life be worse?  Who can I think of that is having a harder time than I am right now?

But since misery can sometimes feel like the Burj Khalifa weighing over my shoulders, I need to go further:

Can I make a change?  If I am unhappy and have been for a long time, what can I do about it?

Making a change within one's life is something that requires a lot of courage.  We're creatures of habit.  And if suddenly we break the routine of our daily lives, it can be stressful too.  But stress is an inevitable part of life.  And so is unhappiness.  But while unhappiness often pokes it's head into the picture, it really shouldn't outweigh the presence of your happiness.  Cliché as it is, the best metaphor I can illustrate for life is comparing it to a roller coaster.  So yeah, maybe changing your life (changing your job, your home, your relationships, etc.) may disrupt the ultimate harmony that is your "schedule", and yeah it may take a few weeks of discomfort, but in the long run, that little step outside of your comfort zone, that little leap in a new direction, may be what you need to find your happiness.

In all honesty, I think the reason why I'm writing this is because I'm kind of going through this floating transition period.  I have just moved to Copenhagen and have started a new job.  I left behind people that were very important to me back home, but I also left behind a workspace that was making me unhappy.  I didn't even realize just how unhappy I was until I actually left.  I'm living in this new place now and surrounded by new people and it almost doesn't seem real.  It feels like I'm living inside a dream in my REM cycle.  I'm still adjusting.  And for a period of time, it was stressful (packed it all up in one suitcase, thank you very much.) But it's a fresh start and sometimes that can be bliss.

I was talking with my friends last weekend and I told them how happy I was, but that it frightened me.  Too often it has happened to me that in what has seemed to be a happy part of my life, something bad happens all too soon.  And perhaps that's why I'm constantly comparing life to this roller coaster.  Because just when you're up high, at the peak, you fall down faster than you can even breathe.  So yeah, I'm terrified that everything right now is too good to be true and that any second now, something awful and horrific will happen.

Thankfully, I have good friends.  They told me that I need to let myself be happy.  I need to accept and acknowledge this feeling that comes so softly and often is disguised by the bitterness in the world.  Human beings hardly ever let themselves be happy.  Either they are going through a tough time and are thinking "Man, I can't wait for this all to be over so that I can get a break" or they are in a tough time and remembering how easy they used to have it.  So often I look back on my previous years and think "If I had only known how hard my life was going to get."  I think that I used to have it so good.  But was I thinking that at the time? Hell no! At the time, I told myself "Your life is hard right now, but get through it and it will be fine."

So in summary, we believe happiness to be something either in the past or in the future and that makes it so far away and intangible.  The goal that I've given myself as of now, is to accept happiness in, not the past, nor the future, but in my present.  Right now.

I am happy.

The night I arrived, a rainbow came out.  I'm hoping it's a good omen :)

Pleasantly yours,
Bart

Copenhagen, Denmark

I love autumn. It's my favourite season for so many reasons.  But this past year I had a different fall experience than what I'm usually used to.  I spent a few weeks in October visiting Copenhagen, Denmark and while my heart belongs to the orange leaves and crisp air in Canada, I'm happy I got to witness a Danish autumn this year.

This was my first time in Denmark (lots of firsts for me this year, travel-wise) and thankfully I had two good friends who had just recently moved there to join the Royal Danish Ballet.  I stayed with one of those friends in the most charming apartment.  This was the moment I was introduced the the perfection that is Danish design.  I eventually learned that lots of Danish apartments look similar to this.  Very simplistic.  Minimalist.  Geometric.  Matte, light, wood finish.  Very light and white.  I adored it.

Every morning, to get into the city's centre, we had to walk along this gorgeous canal.  Boats parked all along the sides, cobblestone pathways beneath my feet and the sun's definitive glow - it was picturesque to say the least.

beauty, ain't it?

My first morning there, Wilma and I stopped at the cutest cafe by her place.  Little did I know, I was about to taste the most drool-worthy croissant of my life...

I still dream of this croissant. 

As we walked further into the heart of Copenhagen, there was lots to see....

bike traffic. It's a thing there.

Strøget -  one of the longest pedestrian shopping streets in the world

Strøget by night.  Lit stars in the ground :)

Torvehallen - a food/super market.  Think Chelsea Market in New York or St. Lawrence Market in Toronto.

Here we began to cross the bridge to get into the neighbourhood known as Nørrebro.  It's the northern district of Copenhagen and currently regarded as the trendy destination.  It's likely the most multicultural part of the city and filled with lots of amazing restaurants, cafes, bars and shops.  

One lonely chair overlooking the water. How lovely.

And by the chair is a mysterious book...

The view from the bridge.

Here's another canal.  You really can't walk for more than ten minutes without seeing a canal in Copenhagen.  

t'was a gloomy day

This is the infamous Nyhavn.  It is a 17th century waterfront but to the plain jane eye, it is yet another canal.  It's loaded with restaurants and cafes.  Very lively and entertaining.  Personally, my favourite part about Nyhavn would be the bright colours of the buildings.  Visually, it's a lovely portrait.

When I had some alone time to wander and get lost, naturally I happened to stumble upon what I believe to be the world's best cookie (so far).  The place was called Foodshop No. 26 and because wifi is like an endangered species when you're travelling, I was initially inclined to enter because of that.  Or maybe it was the fresh pastries and danishes sitting at the window, beckoning me, completely aware of my vulnerability to sweets.  Blasted Danes...why must your food be so good??

Heaven in cookie form.

The grandest tourist adventure I went on was to see the Little Mermaid statue.  Hans Christian Anderson, known to us as the author of many fairy tales, modernly presented as Disney movies, lived and died in Copenhagen.  The statue is found by the waterside of the Langelinie promenade, which in itself is a nice walk.

Me and Wilma being all touristy.

And there she is!

Lucky for us, this very same night was also KulturNight in Copenhagen.  On this night, for a fixed rate of maybe about $25, every museum, gallery, church, political building, castle, etc. was opened to the public.  First we visited the Museum of Danish Design but I didn't get any pictures. Sorry.

We moved onto the building of trade.  We got a really thorough tour, thankfully in English.

Outside, we ran into a series of tents that had different activities within them.  This is me sawing of a piece of wood, which I later turned into a candle.

this was hard for me...

Here, on a bright, sunny and warm day, I ventured off to see the Royal Danish Library.  

amazing

Just outside the library, I discovered my new favourite reading spot...

leave me here forever?

Then of course came Saturday night.  Universally known as a late night.  We visited Christiania, which is a self-proclaimed neighbourhood in the city that seems to have no rules except for NO PICTURES.  So yeah..didn't get any pictures.  But imagine a charming hippie-village.  

As bikes are the best way to get by in Copenhagen, I couldn't leave without riding one.  Only problem was, I didn't have one.  So I hopped on the back seat of Liam's.  I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life.

these smiles are fake.

Next day, Liam and I came across a very, very random set of swings.  We couldn't not...

I don't think I've ever seen fashion so impeccable as the fashion I've seen in Denmark.  The stores are out of this world.  Such quality.  Expensive, but...worth every penny.  I treated myself to some black jeans from Cheap Monday and two basic t shirts (softer than a baby's bottom) from Samsoe Samsoe.  

But I must admit, the best thing I bought in Copenhagen was my new haircut.  Funny story with that - after months of debate, whether or not I should cut my hair, Liam convinced me it was the right thing to do.  My long hair, despite my efforts to grow it longer, was damaged beyond repair.  It was a Sunday that I came to this decision, and I tell you, everything is shut down on Sunday.  Except one magical hair salon that told me this was my fate.  Short hair is blissful.  It's light, it's easy.  I feel that I look older (thankfully because I'm a cursed babyface).  I had no regrets.  And yes, occasionally I'll look back and miss the way my long hair looked, but I think I'm gonna hang onto this bob, just for a little longer.

To summarize the trip, it was memorable.  The city itself was perfect in all the right ways.  The people were friendly, the air clean.  I was so grateful to have had my friends there and to have made new friends as well.  

I'm very excited because I get to go back there next month.  The scary part is I'll be living there for half a year... Working at the one place I very remorsefully didn't get to visit: Tivoli Gardens.  I have dozens of thoughts and feelings about this right now, but I think I'm at a place in my life where I need to start a new adventure.  I've aged a lot this year from experience and I feel ready to do this, despite the uncertainty one always feels when starting something new.  

So starting late April, this blog will be coming to you from Copenhagen, Denmark!

Pleasantly yours,

Bart